It’s summertime in Florida, and the daily afternoon thunderstorms have arrived. Without fail, the dark storm clouds make their appearance. The thunder rumbles in the distance, the wind kicks up, and the sky grows dark. These are your warnings that it’s time to move inside, and quickly. As you dash toward the door, big fat raindrops begin to fall, and you reach the shelter of the indoors just in time as the sky opens up with a roar of drops hitting the concrete.
I’ve you’ve read some of my earlier posts, you’ll know that I’m a huge weather nut. I love checking the radar to see where a storm is headed. I love watching the weather updates to see the meteorologist tracking the storm across town, and I get a weird little thrill when I see a weather advisory. The anticipation of watching rain move across a field toward you – seeing the drops fall closer and closer – is indescribable. The only thing that gets to me is the thunder.
I’m not afraid of it. Logically, I know I’m safe indoors. Rationally, I know my chances of being struck by lightning are slim to none. I take all the recommended precautions, and I'm probably more cautious than I need to be about using appliances and bathing or using water when a storm approaches. But I startle super easily, and any sudden loud noise that takes me by surprise makes me jump from my seat.
The biggest problem with this is that I don’t want Munch to learn to be afraid based on my reaction. He’s not afraid of anything yet, but he watches everything we do until he can mimic it flawlessly. He doesn’t know what the remote control does, but he’s seen us point it at the TV – now he does it too. Nobody has taught him how to eat with utensils, but the other day he grabbed the spoon from my hand and fed himself perfectly.
Up till now he's been fine, but I'm afraid my reaction is already influencing him. We have a (rare) morning thunderstorm rolling in and just a few minutes ago we saw the flash of lightening followed by the sound of thunder rolling in the distance. I saw the lightning and prepared myself, but Munch was caught by surprise. He started and started fussing - the hubs and I stayed calm and told him there was nothing to worry about. I thought about offering him a hug, but decided against it since I thought that might reinforce the feeling of needing comfort.
I think this situation represents an important skill in parenting. Every parent has a trait, habit, or fear they don't want to pass on to their children. Learning to change or mask those characteristics could make all the difference in the child's life, making them happier or healthier than if they did inherit it.
So, that's the big question. What is the best way to handle this kind of thing? Munch is still too little to understand any explanation I can give. He just hears a big noise & then sees Mommy jump. For all he knows that's what you're supposed to do. I don't mind if he mimics my physical reaction, but I don't want that do grow into a fear as he gets older.
BabyCenter says I should downplay my own fears. Well, duh! I'm trying, but sometimes it's easier said that done. If you're a mommy, how do you deal with hiding your fears from your kids?
There is only so much you can do. Kids will learn the real you no matter what you hide from them. I don't know how to swim. I can get in the water and splash around but the thought of water covering my face petrifies me and it always has. I wish I were making this up but I hold my nose in the shower, seriously. I just don't let my kids see that and get them into the pool as often as possible and neither of them are afraid and I've dunked them both which is harder for me than you know.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog! I found you at the Tea Party and I see that we're both in Mama Kat's Writers Workshop. Are you a writer? Have you heard of The Red Dress Club? I have their button on my blog if you want to check it out.
Michelle
http://pietrosmomma.blogspot.com/
I say do the best you can hile still being you. You want your kids to try new things and not be afraid because they think you are
He's probably going to pick up on the fact that you're a weather nut. Watch the rain with him, and tell him you love the rain. And if you jump at the sound of thunder, make it a joke with him. I'll bet that if he sees you laughing, he'll think thunderstorms are fun.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Grace and I say make a joke of it. Even if he does see you getting startled it doesn't mean he'll be scared of thunder too when he grows up. My mom is terrified of cats and always has been, but they don't bother me in the slightest.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS