No, really. And I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. It’s the honest truth.
Sure, I have acquaintances and people I spend time with. But I don’t have anyone around that really knows me. Me, who laughs at stupid jokes, sucks at cleaning house, and doesn't exercise enough.
The women I consider close enough to be my sisters all live far away. My sister in law lives four hours away in South Florida. My best college girlfriend moved to California to make it big. My real sister lives a thousand miles away in Maryland. The closest one still lives an hour away, and while we’re both technically in the Central Florida area, our schedules differ so drastically it’s nearly impossible to get together.
That’s something I really miss. I’m mostly happy with my life. I love being a mom, and I love my husband dearly, but I feel like there’s a part of my life that’s missing. The part with female friends, close friends, who you can share secrets with, snicker at your inside jokes together, and stay up late into the night talking about everything and nothing at all. The kind that knows what you’re thinking with a single glance or knows that the twitch in your brow is the only sign of the tears you’re holding back.
I hope every day that my sister will come home, that my Hollywood wannabe friend will move back, that my sister in law will decide to buy the house down the street like she’s been talking about.
They know me. They know that I’m afraid of trains, but drive me past the tracks just to tease me. They know I love my Chick-Fil-A lemonade without ice, because it waters the lemonade down. They know that I live in my flip-flops, that I hate birds, and that I would do absolutely anything for them if they needed it.
This is the part where I could say something like “distance doesn’t matter as long as we hold each other in our hearts” but I’m not feeling that optimistic today. Instead, I’ll continue on as I have been – one day at a time, trying not to think about it and pretending that it doesn’t matter. Except that it does.
It's hard living far away from friends and then small kids tend to isolate you as well. Most of my friends live in the computer these days since it is the easiest way to connect. I did force myself a few years ago to attend a MOPS meeting at a local Baptist church, even though I am not Baptist or even really religious. I met a bunch of nice women. I have lots of acquaintances now & some good friends from that experience. Not really close friends, but that takes time.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS
Have you tried Meetup.com ? I'm sure you can find some mom groups to join. I know that's not the same, but just an idea. I joined a few here and it's been nice to meet other mamas my own age.
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better! This is a great post about friendship and family! It is hard making friends and sad when people move away.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it is hard being away from the ones you love! Even though the distance is great, though, it sounds like these people are all still right in your heart. Maybe one day they'll all be right down the street!
ReplyDeleteWow! It's like you were writing my thoughts there! I'm exactly the same. I have two very dear friend - one's in England and the other's in Johannesburg and I'm in Durban (550kms away). NOT so great.
ReplyDeleteFound you on SITS.
Thanks so much Lynn for being a Guest on my blog. I love your post.
ReplyDeleteWe can serve as your Virtual Sisters for now (@SITS Group) :)